Mercury sings like a crystal goblet
“The planet Mercury sings like a crystal goblet.
One side of Mercury faces the Sun. That side has always faced the Sun. That side is a sea of white-hot dust.
The other side faces the nothingness of space eternal. That side has always faced the nothingness of space eternal. That side is a forest of giant blue-white crystals, aching cold.
It is the tension between the hot hemisphere of day-without-end and the cold hemisphere of night-without-end that makes Mercury sing.”
—Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, from The Sirens of Titan, 1959.
Saint Elmo’s fire
“Saint Elmo’s fire is a luminous electrical discharge, and any creature afflicted by it is subject to discomfort no worse than the discomfort of being tickled by a feather. All the same, the creature appears to be on fire, and can be forgiven for being dismayed.”
—Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, from The Sirens of Titan, 1959.
the Church of God the Utterly Indifferent
“‘The name of the new religion,’ said Rumfoord, is the Church of God the Utterly Indifferent.
‘The flag of that church will be blue and gold,’ said Rumfoord. ‘These words will be written on that flag in gold letters on a blue field: Take Care of the People, and God Almighty Will Take Care of Himself.’”
—Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, from The Sirens of Titan, 1959.
a riddle
“There is a riddle about a man who is locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar, and the question is: How does he survive?
The answer is: He eats dates from the calendar and drinks water from the springs of the bed.”
—Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, from The Sirens of Titan, 1959.
His Wig
“His Wig was as black and smooth as the plumes of a Raven, and hung as strait as the hair of a River-God rising from the water.”
—The Scriblerus Club (John Arbuthnot, Alexander Pope, Jonathan Swift, John Gay, Thomas Parnell and Robert Harley), from the fictitious and fanciful Memoirs of Martinus Scriblerus, 1723.
the Palpability of Colours
“He it was, that first found out the Palpability of Colours; and by the delicacy of his Touch, could distinguish the different vibrations of the heterogeneous Rays of Light.”
—The Scriblerus Club (John Arbuthnot, Alexander Pope, Jonathan Swift, John Gay, Thomas Parnell and Robert Harley), Memoirs of Martinus Scriblerus, 1723.
the noble effect the Building will have to posterity
“In Architecture, he builds not with so much regard to present symmetry or conveniency, as with a Thought well worthy a true lover of Antiquity, to wit, the noble effect the Building will have to posterity, when it shall fall and become a Ruin.”
—The Scriblerus Club (John Arbuthnot, Alexander Pope, Jonathan Swift, John Gay, Thomas Parnell and Robert Harley), Memoirs of Martinus Scriblerus, 1723.
the most wonderful space ship in all creation!
“‘You want to fly through space’ God has already given you the most wonderful space ship in all creation! Yes! Speed? You want speed? The space ship God has given you goes sixty-six thousand miles an hour—and will keep on running at that speed for all eternity, if God wills it. You want a space ship that will carry men in comfort? . . . He’s given you a space ship that will carry billions of men, women and children! Yes! And they don’t have to stay strapped in chairs or wear fishbowls over their heads. No! Not on God’s space ship. The people on God’s space ship can go swimming, and walk in the sunshine and play baseball and go ice skating and go for family rides in the family automobile on Sunday after church and a family chicken dinner!’”
—Kurt Vonnegut, Jr; Reverend Bobby Denton, from The Sirens of Titan, 1959.
jolly old St. Nick
“The jolly old St. Nick that we know from countless images did not come from folklore. . . . He came from the yearly advertisements of the Coca-Cola Company. He wears the corporate colors—the famous red and white—for a reason: he is working out of Atlanta, not out of the North Pole.”
—James B. Twitchell, from Twenty Ads that Shook the World, 2000.
the most compressed diamond of a headline
“‘Each memory in turn is treasured in the lovely, lighted depths of her engagement diamond, to be an endless source of happy inspiration. For such a radiant role, her diamond need not be costly or of many carats, but it must be chosen with care.’. . .
It was from the exhaustion of writing such carbonated prose [for De Beers diamonds] that the most compressed diamond of a headline was formed. In April of 1947, Frances Gerety was laboring mightily. . . . She was exhausted from trying to come up with a new line that would bring together all the intrinsic and romantic qualities of the diamond and have it not make any sense whatsoever. . . . ‘Dog tired, I put my head down and said, ‘Please God, send me a line.’’ He must have because she wrote, ‘A Diamond Is Forever.’”
—James B. Twitchell, from Twenty Ads that Shook the World, 2000.