“Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies. And what’s on next? A show about tornadoes. Who made such a harrowing program schedule full of seemingly random destruction? It was God’s will.”

—Stephen Colbert, I Am America (And So Can You!), 2007.