“‘Dogs can’t dye their hair like ladies do. This always has to be done by the person who wants to sell them. If a dog is so old that it’s completely grey and you want to sell it as a year-old puppy or pretend that the old dodderer is only nine month old, then you must buy some silver nitrate, dissolve it and paint the dog black so that it looks quite new.’”

—Jaroslav Hasek (1883-1923), The Good Soldier Svejk and His Fortunes in the World War, translated from the Czech by Cecil Parrot, 1973.