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white ash

“It seemed to be getting lighter. To the left he could see a moonlit hillside and a black slope opposite that looked as steep as a wall. On this slope there was a white patch which Rostov couldn’t make out at all—was it a clearing the the wood catching the moonlight, some snow that hadn’t melted or white houses? He could have sworn there was something moving across the white patch. ‘It must be snow, or could it be white ash? . . . Why tash . . .?’ Rostov mused dreamily. ‘Not white ash . . . Tash . . . Na-tasha . . . sister . . . black eyes. Na-tasha. (Imagine her surprise when I tell her I’ve seen the Emperor!) Natasha . . . tasha . . .’ ”

—Leo Tolstoy, War & Peace, 1869; translated by Anthony Briggs, 2005. (pp. 282-283)

It was a dark but starry night

“It was a dark but starry night and the road shone black against the white snow that had fallen on the day of the battle.”

—Leo Tolstoy, War & Peace, 1869; translated by Anthony Briggs, 2005.

he was clearly no abstainer

“His face, already bright red in color—he was clearly no abstainer—now turned blotchy and his face twitched.”

—Leo Tolstoy, War & Peace, 1869; translated by Anthony Briggs, 2005.

Sleep after dinner is silver, sleep before dinner is gold

“The old gentleman was in fine fettle after his nap before dinner. (Sleep after dinner is silver, sleep before dinner is gold, was his motto.)”

—Leo Tolstoy, War & Peace, 1869; translated by Anthony Briggs, 2005.

one of those limpid ‘white nights’

“On one of those limpid ‘white nights’ typical of Petersburg in June Pierre got into a hired cab with every intention of going home. But the nearer he got, the more he realized it would be impossible to get to sleep on a night like this, when it was more like evening or morning.”

—Leo Tolstoy, War & Peace, 1869; translated by Anthony Briggs, 2005.

Photoshop Disasters

I love PeTA, but this is ridiculous. From my newest favorite blog, the Photoshop watchdog Photoshop Disasters.

Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfe et cetera

Behold, if you dare, the longest name in the world: Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfe schlegelstein hausenbergerdorffvoraltern waren gewissenhaft schaferswessen schafewaren wohlgepflege und sorgfaltigkeit beschutzen von angreifen durch ihrraubgierigfeinde welche voralternzwolftausend jahres vorandieerscheinen wander ersteer dem enschderraumschiff gebrauchlicht als sein ursprung von kraftgestart sein lange fahrt hinzwischen sternartigraum aufder suchenach diestern welche gehabt bewohnbar planeten kreise drehen sich und wohin der neurasse von verstandigmen schlichkeit konnte fortplanzen und sicher freuen anlebenslanglich freude und ruhe mit nicht ein furcht vor angreifen von anderer intelligent geschopfs von hinzwischen sternartigraum, Senior.

The last name is usually written without spaces between the words, as here. The German language is full of compound words, of course, and I’m pretty sure that Adolph Blaine Charles et cetera intended to mash his surname into one mega-word. But when I cut the apparently compounded surname from my Wikipedia source and pasted into this blog “without style” (that is, while pushing Shift, Option, Command and v) the name arrived with spaces, and actual (albeit German) words emerged, as above. Aha!!! Does a meaningful message lurk within this madness? I ran Wolfe et cetera through a Google translation device got this:

“Wolfe dorffvoraltern schlegel stone houses were berger schafewaren schaferswessen conscientiously wohlgepflege against powdery and care by attacking through ihrraubgierigfeinde vorandieerscheinen which voraltern zwolftausend year ersteer wander the enschderraumschiff gebrauch light than its origins from his kraftgestart long ride on the search for hinzwischen sternartigraum diesters had any habitable planets circle turn and where the neurasse of verstandigmen schlichkeit could fortplanzen and secure anlebens are oblong joy and rest with no one to fear attack from other intelligent geschopfs of hinzwischen sternartigraum, Senior.”

The sprinkled English is intriguing. I mean, “oblong joy and rest with no one to fear attack from” is good, isn’t it? But all in all, this is not very satisfying. This cryptic surname might benefit from a “human translation,” But human translations cost money, and I’m cheap. At lingoz.com (that’s Lingo Z) one can purchase a translation of these 78 words for $13.8528. A mere $13.8528! Does anyone out there know German and English, or feel like springing for it?

But wait, don’t act yet! I just ran into this at museumofhoaxes.com (not to imply that the name is a hoax; oh no, kids, the claim that Adolph et cetera is the longest name in the world “Seems to be true”):

“The most amazing thing about this name is the translation of the content after ‘Wolfe Schlegel Steinhausen-Bergedorf,’ (‘wolf’ ‘mallet’ ‘Steinhausen (a common placename)’ and ‘Bergedorf (a borough of Hamburg)’) which translates to ‘. . . who before ages were conscientious shepherds whose sheep were well tended and diligently protected against attackers who by their rapacity were enemies who 12,000 years ago appeared from the stars to the humans by spaceships with light as an origin of power, started a long voyage within starlike space in search for the star which has habitable planets orbiting and whither the new race of reasonable humanity could thrive and enjoy lifelong happiness and tranquility without fear of attack from other intelligent creatures from within starlike space.’ ”

Ah, that’s more like it. And, as you may have suspected, the man was, quite clearly, insane.