“ ‘Changing my skin color was intoxicating at first. I changed my skin color in the middle of my first dinner with my girlfriend’s parents. I turned blue, then yellow. I went to the bathroom, came out naked, and disappeared into the wallpaper. After a while, they got used to it. They called me the “Chameleon” and said I should have a sitcom. I actually did want to be an actor, but I discovered I didn’t like being laughed at. I saw a D.C. want ad for a modified spy, and the rest, as they say, is classified.’ ”