“The witch-girl who lives by the bend in the river is said to keep a fart in a bottle.
     It’s a poisonous fart, green as cabbage, loud as a shotgun; and after moonset or before moonrise, her hut is illuminated by its pale mephitic glow. For a time, passersby thought she had television.”

—Tom Robbins, ‘Moonlight Whoopee Cushion Sonata’, Wild Ducks Flying Backward; the short writings of Tom Robbins, 2005.